Translation of the history of the cattle

Translation of the history of the cattle？好翹口啫，咁即係乜呢？正確嚟講，即係「牛的歷史的翻譯」。如果想精簡，可以叫做「牛史翻譯」。

最近喺網上睇咗幾篇標題都係叫做「史上最牛翻译」嘅文章，覺得幾搞笑吓，所以稍作整理，希望同大家分享吓。不過大部份都係舊料，可能好多人已經見過。

所謂最牛翻譯，其實係國內一指示牌、告示牌、或者廣告嘅英譯部份，都係譯得錯到離晒譜，非常搞笑。其中有仲係政府部門或者大型商業機構嘅出品，都咪話唔得人驚！

其實錯得咁誇張，都係因為過度自動化。一睇就知，翻譯係不經人手，用翻譯軟件做嘅。為咗驗證吓，我就將「史上最牛翻译」呢句喺Google翻譯成英文，結果就得到標題嗰句怪雞嘞，不過點都冇網上嗰咁離譜。以下就係一例子：

中国工商银行
对公业务 = to male service

中国海事局
有错必纠 = have mistake surely Jiu
接警迅速 = receive Jing quick
畏葸不前 = fear on no account Xi not before
排忧解难 = throw You unite disaster

其他
本公厕为免冲式，请您便后离开即可 = This WC is free of washing, Please leave off after Pissing or shitting
贵阳乘警支队 = The expensive sun multiplies by a duty a police to pay a brigade
警(路)风监督电话 = Police road breeze the hurl tell a telephone
垃圾在此投放，烟头切勿投入 = The garbage throws in here, The cigarette butt throws in absolutely not to
请您带好随身物品 = Please take good personal luggage
严禁向窗外抛扔物品 = Strictly forbid toward window to throw to throw a product
请小心衣服弄花您的口红 = Please the careful clothes mishandle flowers you the lipstick
先下后上 文明乘车 = After first under on, do riding with civility
开封公交进站口 = Kaifeng Bus Stop Jin mouth
小可乐 = Small may be happy
小雪碧 = 20th solar term blue
小芬达 = The small fragrance reaches
带好孩子，小心落水 = Take the child, Fall into water carefully
餐厅 = Translate server error
一次性用品 = a time sex thing
干果区 = Fuck the fruit area
散干果 = spread to fuck the fruit
干货 = Fucking goods
芳草萋萋 踏之何忍 = Fangcaoqiqi riding the Heren
不出合肥，逛遍世界 = No Hefei, Guangbian World
一旦失窃要报警 = If you are stolen, call the police at once

唔計文法，主要問題係軟件逐隻字譯，冇照顧到字與字之間嘅關係。我又試吓人肉模擬呢翻譯軟件，睇吓會點。當然啦，我個腦基本上運作正常，絕對唔會出現「Translate server error」嘅。以下就係我嘅出品：

性能 = sex ability
性質 = sex quality
普遍性 = common sex
專業性 = professional sex
幹部 = fucking department
幹練 = fucking practice
能幹 = can fuck
實幹 = real fuck
貴幹 = expensive fuck
公幹 = public fuck / male fuck
公交 = male intercourse
公審 = male trial
公事 = male affairs
大公無私 = huge male without privacy
貴人 = expensive people
貴賓 = expensive Pinoy
貴客光臨 = expensive guests arrive naked